What's up ladies and gentlemen. My name is Tyler.

Whether on the long, boring stretches of gravel, or the most exhausting slogs through rocks, mud, rain, sand, and scree, adventure has a way of bringing us to our knees. It humbles us. Breaks us. Teaches us things that nothing else can. The metaphor of adventure found scouting the Loop, with its ups, downs, injuries, pain, and triumphs, echoed so closely with challenges in my personal life. This endeavor is so much more than a collection of routes to me, and I pray that I can convey at least a part of that to you.

 

Over the decade it took to ride, route, and map the best of thousands of trails in the area, my mind felt like it was falling apart. I knew that as I fought to keep my own life together, my calling was to help others who struggled do the same.

 

I've always dealt with depression, but things seemed to be getting worse and worse with every passing month. It wasn't long before my business, my family, and my very life were in jeopardy. For years I dealt with daily suicidal ideation, nearly ending my life too many times. I was hospitalized twice, and began years of clinical ketamine treatments and DBT Therapy. Eventually I was also diagnosed with Complex PTSD from events that occurred, and were repressed, nearly 20 years ago. Healing has been a long and difficult journey, and I'm still on it. Fighting. Struggling. Winning. And sometimes still failing. But I'm getting better. My family is healing. Life is absolutely worth living!

 

Over the course of this mental health battle, I've had to let my business and social media presence take a back seat, sometimes going months without releasing a video. My channel, eveRide, was once the largest dual sport channel on YouTube, but stalled out because of my declining mental health. This fed a downward spiral of feelings of failure and worthlessness. I often felt like I had been blessed with this awesome channel, this amazing community, only to "run it into the ground" or "squander it away."

 

As I watched my channel and livelihood crumble, riding and scouting the 988 Loop was one of the things that kept me, and the eveRide endeavor, going. Even though I wasn't making videos, I was still "doing work" by scouting trails without the overwhelming burden of social media and the unrelenting expectations of hundreds of thousands of people. It didn't feel right to accept donations for videos I wasn't creating. I deleted Patreon and told my other paid subscribers to cancel. I stopped talking to sponsors. I didn't promote my rallies. My income dropped significantly. My once-thriving career was in shambles, but I knew I was creating something worth sharing. Something bigger than subscribers or sponsorships.

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This isn't just a collection of .GPX tracks. This is my journey of solace. These trails are where great moments of healing happened for me. Moments of insight, clarity, regret, forgiveness, acceptance, and triumph. Moments of intense fear and overwhelming guilt. Moments of elation. Moments of transcendence and clarity. This is the side of adventure that men so rarely talk about. It happens on those long stretches when the mind wanders, or in the quiet moments when you sip your water while looking out over the landscape, the wind whispering over the contours of your helmet. I hope this route provides the same for you.

 

As you ride it, please take time to reflect on and appreciate both the amazing things that surround you here in Utah, and the beauty that surrounds you within the walls of your own home. May this route not only provide you with a glorious adventure that you'll never forget, but meaningful change in your life as the miles pass by. May you find forgiveness for others and yourself. May you proudly show your younger self how you made it to where you are now. May you heal wrongs, abandon vices, challenge doubts, and discover a more powerful version of yourself. Riding on a long adventure has a way of helping us remember what's truly important in life. I want you to go home from this journey covered in dirt, worn out, with a huge grin, and changed.​

​If the route goes by anything, it should simply be called "The 988".

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If anybody gets anything out of this trail system, it should be that​ number: 988. Calling it can and will save lives. It can save your life.

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This is not an exaggeration: just as I was completing the eveRide 988 Loop .GPX tracks, long after deciding to call it the "988", there was a legitimate mental health crisis in my family. Though I had been hospitalized for suicidal ideation before (which saved my life) I had never called 988. My wife and I decided to practice what we preach. We called 988 and within 30 minutes two amazing, professional, compassionate therapists from the local mobile crisis unit showed up to our home and guided us through a very difficult situation that may have otherwise ended in the suicide or runaway of a cherished family member.

 

They didn't 100% fix the problems. There's still a lot we need to work through. But they provided a potentially life-saving intervention for a loved one in crisis.

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Now, the quality of service can vary by state, by region, even from therapist to therapist. But across the US, they will try to get you the help you need.

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If you are in crisis, or have a family member in crisis, you have support! You don't have to go it alone. There is help out there, and they really can help to change your life!

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I am not ashamed to let people know that I've spent time in "B Med" aka the psychiatric ward of my local hospital. Compared to the alternative--that dark and hopeless "easy way out"-- it was one of the bravest things I've ever had to do. To hang on through the pain and just try to make something work.

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One. Last. Try.

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It was one of the most important weeks of my life. They provided life-saving interventions, they got me on track with my fantastic therapist, and they dialed in effective medications that changed my life for the better. Side note: the food was also crazy good and it was amazing to spend a week without my phone, playing board games with amazing people with similar struggles as me. Yes, there were the stereotypical "psych ward" people, who ended up being beautiful, happy, caring people with very similar circumstances. But there were also plenty of absolutely "normal people" in there with me. I met a doctor, a mechanic, a waitress, a football coach, and a few college students. The vibe in the hospital was pure positivity. The staff was amazing, the care was outstanding, and I felt like the break from electronics, work, and some of the difficult aspects of my personal life allowed me to breathe again.

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I know these things have a stigma. I know it can be awkward to talk about mental health or get help when so often we're told to "man up." But there is no reason to suffer through the very deadly pain of depression, PTSD, severe anxiety, or other (very common) mental health issues that make suicide one of the leading causes of death for men.

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Would you feel awkward or guilty for going to the hospital with a broken arm after a gnarly crash? No? Because your arm is BROKEN and it HURTS.

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Would you feel awkward or guilty for going to the hospital after suffering with symptoms and pain from a gallbladder attack? No? Because your health is IMPORTANT and it HURTS.

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So why do we delay or feel shame for going to the hospital when our MIND is BROKEN, IMPORTANT, and it HURTS?

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Is it because we're supposed to put mind over matter and tough it out? Is it because we fall into that lethal trap thinking we're a burden to those around us, and this would only make it worse? Is it because somebody might talk badly about us if they found out?

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As somebody who has seen the light at the end of the tunnel, and experienced extremely dark moments, I can tell you that it can get better and it will get better if you get help and put in the work!

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When you think of the eveRide 988 Loop and remember the adventures you'll undoubtedly have, remember 988! Life is a trail worth riding!